once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
