Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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