I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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