He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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