I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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