He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
