thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have already put on my inside pants.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
