Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
