I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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