ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
