this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
