there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
