doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
