last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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