did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize