Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
