we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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