he shaved USA in his pubs
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
