if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
