Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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