Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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