halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize