I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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