Already got asked if we're dating
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My balls are so social today.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
