me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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