We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
