so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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