I love black thongs
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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