was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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