I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
