I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I had to cum in my sink.
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