i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize