what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
