I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
