Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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