Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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