I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
