I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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