Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
