gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
