I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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