i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
