So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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