hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
