I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
