so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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