Having a random hookup so left but love u
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
