mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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