I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
