I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
there's paper in my vomit.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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