apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
