Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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