Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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