I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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