Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We need to rekindle our bromance
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
