Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
