Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
