New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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