so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
