I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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