saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
