I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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