your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
