Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
