Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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