pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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