He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
