her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
