I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
is it fun? or sober?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
