You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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