and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just want to make out with him forever
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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