it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
