Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
