i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
