Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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