The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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