we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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