I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
