im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
