I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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