Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
